I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
