im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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