i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
