At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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