we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize