Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
