it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
