i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
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She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
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Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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