I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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