i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize