wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
