He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
