I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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