We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
