I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We need to get me chipped asap
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
