hell yes lets make some ravioli
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
