yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
