if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
