Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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