I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
