We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
