sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
