she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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