is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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