dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
