Quick, to the slutcave!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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