Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
