I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
