Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
