A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
