it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i will never coherently bang her
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
