He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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