Got a toothbrush?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize