You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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