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Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
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