none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.