Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
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It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?