I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk