Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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