Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
