Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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