I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
