Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We just shotgunned beers for America
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
