I love black thongs
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
