he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
