I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
