You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
