well I can't set my house on fire every night
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
