I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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