Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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