Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
