don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
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Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
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Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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