my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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