just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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