you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
