There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
