I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
