we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
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Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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