he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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