Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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