Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
