So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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