We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
