Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
