It's Friday. Sex?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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