Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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