Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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