Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
